“I’ll Still Be Zoe”

This post is in honor of my first granddaughter’s sixth birthday. When she was three, I asked her that inane question adults always ask kids: What are you going to be when you grow up? Her mind was occupied with something she was doing, so she didn’t even turn around to answer, but she said, nonchalantly, “I’ll still be Zoe.” I was struck by that answer and still am. She said it without thinking. Her mind was not on future careers, and she probably wondered why Grandma asked such a silly question.

But it made me think. We go through so many stages in our journey through life, from infancy through childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, all trying to find out who we are and what we are going to be. And then in adulthood, as we dive into careers, partnerships, parenting, projects, jobs, marriages, divorces, losses, gains, disappointments, joys, and changes physical, mental, and spiritual, our lives become enriched and we learn to deal with the pain it also sends our way.

But we are still ourselves. Even, as some are starting to realize, if our mental capacities are taken away with dementia or injury, we are still us. I have been through many ups and downs, a variety of jobs, health issues, joys, disappointments and griefs, gains and losses, but I am still Ellie. I am not defined by what I do, how I make my living, who I am connected with, what is left of me physically after nearly 65 years on the planet. I am still Ellie.

Zoe is a little girl, living in the love and nurture of her family, and reaching out to the larger world in her school and friendship experiences. Now she is in kindergarten, and before long she will hit adolescence and work to define herself as a maturing person. Eventually she will face all the issues of the adult world: career, relationships, developing her own family, the ups and downs of life. She will, God willing, grow older, and face all the issues of aging, with increasing knowledge and wisdom as she goes along. But—through it all—she will still be Zoe.